Every day as we meet with friends, talk on the phone or send text back and forth we are bombarded with a variety of questions and comments on various topics, some of which are very important to us as individuals.  Often we catch ourselves apologizing, a re-action that can be self-defeating!

There are many choices we have made or will make that need no apology and we shouldn’t ever feel intimidated into giving one.  Holly Eagleson, in her article, ’15 Things You Should Never Apologize For’ (Cosmopolitan magazine, April 2009) lists the following:  “

1. Ordering a Real Dessert
2. Someone Else’s Bad Day
3. Ditching a Bad Lover
4. Having a Crazy Family
5. Buying Into Your Horoscope
6. Really Wanting a Boyfriend
7. Being a Self-Promoter
8. Investing in Your Looks
9. Having a High “Number”
10. Changing Your Mind
11. Being Inexperienced
12. Hoping Your Children Will Be Cuter Than Your Friends
13. Sticking to a Budget
14. Only Doing Things Online That You’d Do in Real Life
15. Being Happy”

If you want Holly’s interpretation of each of these then visit Cosmopolitan.com.  For my interp., keep reading.

1. You should never apologize for enjoying small delights!  While I don’t encourage anyone to overeat or to pig out on desserts, ONE really good dessert shared with your spouse or a friend during an occasional dinner out can be a sweet topper for a delightful evening.
2. Everyone has bad days or at least, bad moments during good days but don’t let anyone blame/yell at you.  Recently a traveling companion yelled at me because he couldn’t find his credit card.  I calmly replied, “I didn’t lose it, you did – Stop yelling!” and I retreated into a service station while he searched the car himself.  Thankfully, when I returned, he apologized.  Then I helped him look for it and I called the prior station to see if it had been found while he called to cancel it.
3. This goes for not only the lover/spouse/friend that just can’t or won’t meet your needs, it goes for anyone who is hurting you, physically or emotionally.
4. Many of us really do come from alcoholic, super-religious, dysfunctional or otherwise crazy families that did us great harm and possibly even drove us away but don’t let ‘them’ ruin you.  Give your friends or significant other a heads up only if necessary then close the subject, no one really wants to hear about it anyway!  And we certainly don’t want to appear ‘tainted’!
5. I enjoy reading my horoscope!  I find that it can help me to see things in myself and others that I wouldn’t have known to look for otherwise.  A ‘this might happen today’ can help me not to react negatively when it does!
6. Most of us yearn to be happily married or at least involved in fun/healthy/happy relationships of some sort.  Be friendly, seek companionship, and enjoy life!
7. If you don’t talk about your accomplishments, who will?
8. I exercise/walk because it makes me sleep/feel better, if it also helps me to appear more confidant/sexy, then so be it!
9. Some of us feel guilty (of what I don’t know) because we’ve had more than one spouse/lover.  Instead we need to see the encounters for what they are: lessons learned on the way to a better life!
10. This is a good one!  All of us are thinking, feeling individuals doing our best to successfully navigate the streams of life, love, career and family.  Don’t ever apologize because a better option presented itself and you went with it, even if it didn’t turn out to be the better option.  Only hindsight is 20/20!
11. Nobody knows everything about everything!  We all have to learn sometime.  Do the best you can with the best ideas you have and be willing to change when necessary as you gain more knowledge along the way.
12. Everyone hopes their children and grandchildren will be the cutest, sweetest and brightest.  Claim your bragging rights while making sure those kids get the education they need and ample opportunities to shine.
13. We’ve all had to tighten our belts at some time.  Set your limits and hang on.  Don’t let someone else’s expectations drive you to the proverbial poor house.  If you find yourself in an overly expensive restaurant, just order a not-quite-so-fancy coffee or tea and say that you ate before you came.  The drink will provide enough sustenance until you can get home for a sandwich.
14. Yes, I belong to a dating service.  They have what they call ‘winks’ or ‘ice-breakers’.  Personally I think these are silly.  If I see a person/profile that seems to fit what I’m looking for, I take the leap and send an email.  At least he knows I can read, write and spell(check)!
15. Once, during a concert, my new spouse had just left his seat to find some refreshment when another man approached me to say, ‘You’re having too much fun!”  Now, instead of ruining my event, why didn’t he just follow my lead and play with the one sitting next to him?  If you’ve got a great marriage/job/child/life then enjoy it and publicly show what it takes to be happy for those who need to learn to control their whining complaints and angry outbursts that ruin the fun for everyone.

Stay warm and well in 2010!